Mattie Montgomery is an evangelist who believes that the love of Jesus and His Gospel will not be spread by rockstars or mega ministries, but simply through the living testimony of all Christians throughout the world. Having been a preacher of the Gospel for the past 10 years, this is the message he now shares, and which is at the heart of his ministry, Awakening Evangelism. Mattie is also working with the Awakening Europe team, which wants to see a powerful revival in Europe and he will be in Prague this summer for the annual Awakening Europe event. Mattie agreed to answer questions from the editorial staff of Info Chrétienne where this interview was first published. We are grateful to him for taking the time to tell the story of his extraordinary encounter with Jesus. This once cynical and intellectual philosopher discovered Jesus; His love and His sacrifice on the cross, through an extraordinary experience that you are about to discover… Be blessed!
Can you tell us about when you first met Jesus?
In the fall of 2005, I went to college and studied philosophy and world religions. I had no concern with affirming or discrediting this Christianity I’d seen as a child. My concern was for Truth. I wanted to know what the hearts of our philosophers, poets, and prophets had pursued so wildly, and I wanted to find the Truth that had, since the beginning of time, beckoned the hearts of men (even those who question its existence).
After my first year in college, I had the idea to quit my summer job and hitch hike around the United States. It was just a silly idea, but for some reason, the more I thought about it, the more real it became. It felt like, maybe this wasn’t just a silly idea—maybe this was destiny. But, to be honest, I didn’t even know if I believed in “destiny” at that point in my life. The idea didn’t really make any sense. I had a great job and good friends. I had responsibilities and interests in my city. Logically, there was no reason for me to travel at all, but something inside me was crying out for it.
This moment was pivotal for me, because, for the first time in my life, my head and my heart were at odds with each other. Logically, I knew there was no reason for me to risk my well-being to go live on the street, seeking some “truth”. But on a deeper level—one that transcended my intellectual capabilities, past experiences, or even my more foundational beliefs—I knew that, this one decision had the potential to change my life forever! I would have to quit my job, move out of my apartment, leave all my worldly possessions behind, and simply go, but my heart was shouting, “It’ll all be worth it in the end!”
One night, in late July of 2006 – the night before I planned to quit my job – the weight of my decision bore down on me heavily. I was deeply conflicted, and very unsure about the decision before me, so I started to ride my bike around my college campus to clear my mind. As I went, desperately seeking clarity, I ended up walking across the school’s soccer field, gazing up at the glittering stars that dotted the sky. My imagination wandered from the things I might experience while hitch hiking around the country, to the existence of God, to what the next year of my life might hold for me.
Suddenly, after a few minutes in that field, the fears, and doubts, and disappointments of my childhood started to return – I tried valiantly to bury them again, but despite my efforts and expertise in that area, they rose uncontrollably. The confident face I showed to everyone else disappeared, and I collapsed in a heap on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. For the first time in my life, I confessed my own inadequacy, and allowed myself to be confronted with the truth: I simply did not know what to do. For the first time, I realized that truth and logic are not always the same thing. It was at that moment that I did something I never imagined I would do again: I prayed. I said, between heavy, gasping breaths, “God, whoever You are, if You’re out there, I need You to show me what to do next. I want to know You, but I’m so afraid. And I need to know that You’ll be with me.”
I sat there in that field for a few more moments; I suppose waiting for something special to happen. I don’t know exactly what I expected, but I spent some time wrestling with the fact that I had just prayed to a God I didn’t even really believe in. Did that even count? If He was out there, would He even pay attention to me? Eventually, I composed myself, picked up my bike, and rode back across town to the building in which I lived.
It was a clear, cool night, so when I arrived I decided to sit on the steps of my apartment and read a bit before going back inside. I pulled a book out of my bag that I’d been reading for the past few weeks and continued on where I’d left off. After just a few seconds, something happened that I’ll never be able to forget. One character in that book said this phrase to another: “Now is the time to wander into homelessness and, leading a holy man’s life, to seek the path of enlightenment. For you were destined to enlighten the world.”
I don’t know really how to explain to you the weight those words carried as my eyes ran across them. It was like I knew, somewhere deeper than knowing, that this was God’s well-timed answer to the secret cry of my heart. Just minutes earlier, I had wrestled violently with the thought of leaving my home and in my desperation, I cried out to this “God”. But now, in the orange glow of a street light, on the steps of my apartment building, I had my answer—NOW is the time to “wander into homelessness.” NOW is the time to seek the path of enlightenment. And this, not just for enlightenment’s sake, but because it is my destiny to, in turn, help bring enlightenment to the world!
I was stunned! I dropped my book and began to shake violently as this strange, supernatural aura invaded my physical reality. Something like a warm pressure began to engulf me from every side, and I became very aware that I was no longer alone. It felt the way I’d imagine I would feel if I suddenly waking up in a room surrounded by strangers, as my eyes were opened to the reality of the great Host of Heaven surrounding me. I was unnerved and awestruck. The overwhelming presence of God encircled and enchanted me; I somehow felt both more afraid and more secure than I’d ever been. At that moment, I became acutely aware that God – this great God I’d only read about and discussed in hypothetical contexts – was real. And, not only was He real, He heard me when I called, and He was very near to me!
The words I read on the book replayed in my mind: You are destined to enlighten the world.
At that point, I came to terms with one idea that I’d never really entertained before: God listened when I spoke. So I murmured, “No. No. No.”, as tears ran down my quivering cheeks. “I can’t…” I continued, feeling that the responsibility of “enlightening the world” (whatever that meant) was definitely far too much for someone like me.
I said to God, “I’m too weak to do anything great for You.” Immediately after those words left my lips, a new thought overwhelmed my mind. I heard, “But my grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness!”
Somehow I knew this was God’s voice. I didn’t hear it with my ears; I heard it with my heart. It rang with the authority of eternal Truth, though I can’t say that I’d never heard that phrase before. Months later, I would learn that, that is a phrase spoken by God in scripture (2 Corinthians 12:9).
I persisted in my excuses; “But I’m so afraid!”
“…But perfect love casts out fear!” He replied. (That’s 1 John 4:18.)
Over and over again, I brought to Him my doubts, fears, and failures, and over and over again, He confronted me with the Truth about myself and my purpose and about His plan for me. There was nowhere I could run anymore. The God of all creation had backed me into a corner, and gripped my heart. My philosophies never stood a chance in His presence. I knew that He’d invited me not to just believe in Him, but also to know Him. And, if I was honest, that is all my heart had ever really longed for!
I stood in that moment for what felt like an eternity. It was at least an hour before His presence lifted and I was finally able to compose myself again. My mind had been made up. The next day, I walked into work and informed my boss that I’d be leaving. I then moved out of my apartment, and left everything I owned with a friend. I hit the road the next day with a backpack on my back, and a simple belief in my heart: That, if I would seek God, I would find Him. And, that is what I’ve been doing ever since.
What triggered and marked the beginning of your ministry?
Years ago, I was out on tour with the other members of the band I played in, and one day, out on the road in Indiana, we band members slept on the floor of Donita’s house. Donita was a wild lady. Her kids loved our band, and she loved her kids, so we were always welcome at her place. We stayed there many times when we came through their area, and she was always very gracious and hospitable to us. She was a mama to many, our band included.
One morning, after having slept on the floor in Donita’s living room with the rest of the band, I woke up to the sound of her shuffling around the house, collecting her things and getting ready to leave. She saw me awake and said, “I’m going to go soak. Would you like to come?”
“I…don’t know what that means,” I replied, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
She laughed and said, “I’m just going to go over to our Church and turn on some worship music. It’s something I like to do to just spend time with God.”
It seemed harmless enough to me, so I agreed. “Let’s do it!”
We got into her car and made the short drive to her Church. It was one of those weird Churches – dimly lit, shofars and bottles of anointing oil everywhere, purple flags hanging on the walls… I loved it! We walked into the sanctuary and she went straight to the soundboard saying she would turn on some music.
If I’m honest, I think the word “music” was a stretch. What Donita turned on was just… very terrible. I mean, it was a recording of some guy who was clearly making up the words to his song as he went along, and on top of that, he was not a good singer – not at all! I think God liked it anyway.
There I sat in my seat, regretting my decision to come “soak” with Donita. She didn’t miss a beat though. It only took her about 30 seconds to kick her shoes off and start pacing back and forth on the side of the room. She waved her arms around and sang and prayed loudly.
Donita was a Pentecostal powerhouse, and I was sitting there thinking back to that one time I closed my eyes during a worship song. I was way out of my league.
But there, with my hands folded uncomfortably in my lap, sitting in the middle of Donita’s charismatic Church for crazy Christians, I closed my eyes again. Words popped into my head. “Seek my face,” they said. I had heard that phrase before, probably in some Church service or Christian book. I didn’t really know what it meant, but I assumed it was what God said to someone in Bible times when He wanted them to come hang out. So, I thought, God, I want to seek your face! I didn’t know how to do that, or what it might entail, but I thought, If God wants to spend time with people, then I want to be one of those people!
So I let out a sigh and said under my breath, “Okay.” Then I squeezed my eyes closed, scrunched up my nose, gritted my teeth, and thought, This is it! I’m seeking His face! Here we goooooooooooo…!
Nothing.
I don’t know what I expected really – maybe an earthquake or a beam of light from heaven. But what I got was nothing. I was still sitting in that dumb Church listening to that dumb music with dumb Donita. I’m not sure if I got humble or I got desperate, but after a few minutes I decided to try again. This time I would cut the fanfare and just be honest with God.
God, here I am. If you’ll have me, I just want to be with you today.
A deep breath.
I had had moments with God before, but I don’t know that God had ever really
had a moment with me.
Another deep breath.
Suddenly, it felt like the building was falling out from under me, leaving me suspended in the air. My stomach dropped, and the walls, chairs, ceiling, and floor all disappeared. I didn’t hear music anymore. All I could hear was stillness. Not silence, but stillness, like when you’re standing in a forest and just for a moment the wind stops and it feels like the entire world is holding its breath. Total stillness. Donita was nowhere to be found.
I looked around to try to get my bearings, and all I could see was light. I was in a place that seemed to be composed entirely of light, a light that could spin and swirl. It was translucent and it felt alive. I could feel the gentle warmth of the light on my face and hands. While I had never been to this place before, it felt familiar like an old childhood home feels familiar. The place in which I stood had no walls; it was only a ceiling and a floor that seemed to go on forever. And it was so bright that I could hardly open my eyes.
After a few seconds, I began to blink and squint, trying to see a little better. As I got used to the brightness, I could make out the silhouette of a figure walking toward me. I had no fear of the figure. I didn’t know what was happening, but I knew somehow that everything would be okay.
As the silhouette grew, I saw the figure of a man approaching me. I saw the dark, leathery skin on his work-worn hands and face as he finally came into view. I saw his shaggy brown hair and the wide smile on his face. I saw his eyes. It seemed like somehow, all the radiance and otherworldly beauty of this room had been a cheap imitation of the reality hidden in his eyes. His eyes were every color – even colors I had never seen before. They were deep and intense and overflowing with love for me.
He held his hand out to me and said, in a deep, soft voice, like a big, thick blanket on a cold winter night, “Mattie, I am so glad you’re here. Come with me. I’ve prepared a place for you!”
As his hand reached to take hold of mine, I looked down and saw that there was a hole through it. It was an image that jarred me enough that I then noticed the scars that ran from his hands, all the way up his arm, and onto his neck, and even his face and head. They were gruesome and ugly. They were the opposite of everything I’d ever imagined about meeting Jesus.
He took me by the hand, but I hesitated, still shocked by the ghastly scars that marred his skin. He stopped and turned back, and as I ran my thumb across the hole in his hand, I asked, “Did it hurt?”
He turned back to face me, his eyes welling with tears just a bit. He smiled a knowing smile that made his eyes curve over the top of his cheeks. Never letting go of my hand, seeming to want to draw my attention to the significance of the moment, he looked around the brilliant space we were in, then back at me. After some time, he took a deep breath and said softly, “It was worth it.”
And just as suddenly as I had found myself in that place, I found myself back in Donita’s Church. Only now, I was lying on the ground in front of my seat, soaked in my own tears and shaking like a leaf. I laid there for what might have been hours trying to compose myself. Had I really just been with Jesus? How unbelievable that, when asked about the indescribable pain He endured on the cross, His response would be a simple, loving “It was worth it.” What kind of love is this that would consider the suffering of Calvary a price worth paying to be with me? …ME!
I felt very small that day. But I had stood face-to-face with a very big love. And while honestly, I am still processing what I experienced that day, I knew then – just as I know now – that this love is able to carry me through anything I could ever face.
What project or achievement are you most proud of?
The thing I am most proud of is the honor God has given me to be a husband to one wife, and a father to two little boys. All the busyness and excitement of ministry is fine, but the true joy of my life is to love and lead my family like God has loved and lead me.
Which Biblical character inspires you most and why?
John the Baptist. His ministry is so significant in so many ways, but the thing I most admire is his willingness to put Jesus in the center of it all–even if it means removing himself. He was the face of the most significant ministry in the world during his time, and yet retained a simple, humble frame of mind: “He must become greater, and I must become less.” (John 3:30). Then, when the time was right, John, who had been “baptizing people for the remission of their sins,” announces to the world, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!” This simple statement effectively brought his ministry crashing down, and launched the glorious ministry and time of Jesus’ public service on Earth. I want to have that type of heart toward Jesus – to be so completely and wholly consumed with making Him the center of attention, that I am willing to do it in any and every situation, even at my own expense.
What advice would you give to those who want to follow the same path as you?
Seek God. If you are consumed with Him, it will be impossible for you to fail. If you seek ministry, or self-gratification, or fame, or influence, it is inevitable that you will miss the point of life, but if you seek God, nothing you ever do will fail.
How do you see your ministry in the coming years? What projects are important to you?
The dream of my heart is to see believers equipped and inspired to take the Gospel into their own community. The organization I run (Awakening Evangelism) hopes to see thousands of believers filled with the fire of God, and the understanding of the urgency of the hour in which we live, and sent like arrows into the heart of their community with the power of the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ.
